R: No, wha-
(Both laugh) R: How’s it goin’ friends, it’s RobertIDK here! R: I haven’t played a game on this channel in a long, long ass time. R: But I’m gonna do it because, R: I’m gonna play something really, really difficult, and I thought it would be funny. R: So, we’re gonna play some Crash Bandicoot! R: I got my friend Brandon here, a.k- a.k.a, MessYourself. B: a.k.a, The Boi.
R: Go check ’em out- the-the boi, go check him out, B: The Boi!
R: If you haven’t- okay, we’re gonna play Crash Bandicoot. R: I’ve actually- this is like, the main game I’ve been playing since I got here. B: YEAH, HE’S NOT DOIN’ WORK, HE’S PLAYING THIS STUPID GAME!
R: NO! NO, SHUT UP! R: SHUT UP! R: There’s this new level called ‘Stormy Ascent’, R: Which they cut out of the game because it was too hard for the original game, apparently. R: But, it’s- R: IT AIN’T TOO HARD FOR ME! R: I hope you enjoy it, LET’S GO!
B: LET’S GO!
R: LET’S DO THIS SHIT! B: Good luck, you’re gonna need it. SHUT UP HINT! B: OKAY?! R: See , it’s an ascent, right? So it’s like, a tall building. That’s what they mean by- that’s what they mean by ascent.
B: Oh, ascending. R: This game is all about the jumping, y’know, it’s just about jumping up onto sh- *stuttering* B: WHY ARE YOU DESCENDING? THAT’S DESCENDING!
R: NO! R: I’M BACK AT THE START! R: There’s a lot of this stupid crap, R: Like these little stairs that just appear out of – out of, y’know…. R: And then you just have to get it at the right timing, AND I’M NOT VERY GOOD AT IT APPARENTLY! B: I just told you to stop descending! R: I’m trying! *inhale* R: You gotta start jumping before it’s back and just- B: NO! R: I gave myself a lotta leeway here. As you see, I have 54 lives. R: (Singing) When I’m fifty four! R: It’s sixty-four. It’s The Beatles’ song. R: But anyways, I have a lot of lives. R: I PRAY that I don’t have to use them all. R: Okay, here.
B: Jump. Jump! JUMP! JUMP!!! R: IT’S FUCKING HARD! This is ridiculous!
B: JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! R: Okay!
B: I told you, it’s easy. It’s pretty easy.
R: Yeah, you’re right there. R: Why the hell was that so hard?
B: (laughs) R: GO! R: WOO! Alright, I made it. B: So this, this ga- this level got, uh, banned from the game. B: Cuz it was too hard.
R: I-It was too hard. B: But it came back, so… R: It came back, because they were like, ‘Robert, we know you’re dope at this game’. B: yeah. R: Oh my God, a checkpoint!
B: Checkpoint, yay… R: ‘We’re killing it recently!’
GO SUBSCRIBE TO ROBERT! R: Bounce on that BITCH! R: And what’s this piece of shit doing?! He’s just- B: Hahaha he got you! HAhaHa. R: Like, what is the significance of that bird just flyin- OH MY GOD! B: STOP DYING! R: Okay, new rule: R: So, if I die, you have to take a gun, R: and you have to shoot me. B: Okay.
You die, B: YOU DIE! B: YOU’RE DEAD! B: That’s why you add gun effects. B: PEW PEW PEW PEW! R: And I’m gonna get hurt. FUCK YOU!
B: Jump. Jump! JUMP! R: Last time I listened to your dumb-
B: WHY?! B: Jump. Jump! Jump! R: Am I supposed to jump as you’re saying it, or like,
B: Jump. R: When I hear it? ‘Cause, like, reaction time makes that, like,
B: Jump. Jump. R: A difficult thing.
B: Jump. Jump. R: WHAT THE SH-
OH! oHH! R: Should I put on my gaming hat? R: This is what I used to always wear when I was gaming.
B: Gaming hat. R: More like gaayyyyyyy hat. (laugh track) R: Okay. WhOa!
B: WhOa! R: (Singing) My name is Crash Bandicoot. R: This… level’s a piece of poop. R: Crash Bandicoot, R: Oh yeah! R: NO! That goes too F(censored) FAST. R: Checkpoint?
B: Where did that come from? R: How do you crouch? R: Okay. Okay! OKAY! R: Okay, okay, okay, okay, R: Okay, okay, OKAY! B: Why don’t you jump? NOW!
R: Wait, I need to get the timing right. R: Shut up. Shut up!
B: Now! R: SHUT UP. R: NO. NOO!
B: I SAID NOW! R: I DID THE CHECKPOINT! (loud yawn) R: I gotta kick my feet up. R: You can’t see, but my feet are up now, it’s on the, the- B: You can’t see mah feet. R: OH MY GOD! B: Why is this taking so long?
R: What do you mean? R: How long do you expect this to take me?! R: Like, a normal level takes me, like, an hou- oh my Go- R: Goddammit now I’m pissed.
B: Now I’m pissed dude. B: You’re choking so hard right now. R: Chokin’ now, everybody’s chokin’ now. Mom’s spaghetti’s, R: Run in the ground.
I can’t see SHIT. R: What kind of camera angle is this?! I don’t know where I’m standing!
B: Jump! B: HAHAHAHAHAHAH! R: This level’s fucking stupid. I fucking hate this shit.
(I can’t understand Brandon) B: HAHAHA!
R: WHAT THE- B: Dude, if we go down to zero lives, R: I’m gonna be done, I’m deleting my channel.
B: I’m gonna be pissed! R:Oh, I can jump on it! If, if that’s not a Mario-
B: JUMP ON IT! R: That’s a Mario- SHUT UP. SHUT UP. I’M TRYING TO MAKE A JOKE.
B: JUMP ON IT! R: If that’s not a Mario ripoff, I don’t know what it is. (laugh track) B: There’s a song. R: NO! WHYYYY!
B: OH. AH! R: Alright, OH, we needed that life, okay.
B: Yeah, yeah. R: So we’ve made it this far, I better not frickin die.
B: So you need to jump NOW. B: NOW. B: Good boy. JUMP. B: And, JUMP. B: And, JUMP. You did it! GO US!
R: OHHH MY GOD. WOOOO! R: Alright.
B: SPIN! R: Done. R: Wait, how do I do this? R: How the hell do I do that?
B: You have to jump and then spin and then go left. (Brandon laughs) B: Crash BaNdIcOoT. R: Crash BaNdIcOoT. R: (screams) B: You suck dick.
R: You suck d- R: How is that r- okay, how is that rel- relevant for one thing? R: Fuck. R: Shit! R: Wha- HOW DO I DO IT!
Okay, what if I just say, ‘eff it- R: Oh, is that how you do it? You have to do that first? B: OOHHHHHHHHHH!
R: OHHHHHHHHH! R: Dude, that makes more sense than your stupid method you were trying to sell to me. B: DON’T CALL ME STUPID! B: Alright, get ready to jump, in 3, 2…
R: I can- I can re-
B: JUMP! B: YOU DIDN’T JUMP! R: I di- *laughs* R: No, no it’s okay. R: You don’t have to, but-
B: JUMP! R: WOOH! B: WOOH!
R: Holy shit, I did it. B: Yeah! B: Now what? B: You haven’t made it this far, so now what? B: DON’T- NO! B: I was thinking this, this level would not be enough content for a video, B: but now seeing how much you’re fucking up- B: YOU DIDN’T JUMP EARLY ENOUGH! AW. R: I can’t take this bullshit.
B: BullSHIT! B: Mother trucker dude.
R: What is that even a reference to? B: It’s- haven’t you seen the meme? Right?
R: No! Apparently not. B: Wow. B: Mother trucker dude. B: That hurt more than a butt cheek on a stick. R: What the hell is that? B: (laughing) B: STOP DYING! R: What is that ref- tell me what the reference is! B: It’s some kid getting hurt and instead of swearing, he goes,
R: Oh. B: Mother trucker…
R: Get out your phone and play it for me. B: Three, two, one JUMP!
R: I CAN READ! (Robert sings) B: Uh oh.
R: One, two, R: Three. R: Shit. R: Alright, (laughs)
I’M SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT! R: Here’s what we’re gonna do: every time I die, R: Brandon’s gonna slap me in the face.
B: Really? R: When I- yes, when I die I want you to slap me, ’cause right now, R: I’ve got so many damn lives, well right now, I have infinite lives, R: And that’s allowing me to screw up. So I’m sick of this shit. R: I want you to- R: No, wha- OW! (laughs) R: wha- R: wha- B: (laughing) R: OHH HOHOHO! (Robert sings) B: Just spin that one. B: DON’T DIE. B: DON’T DIE. R: I WON’T! R: I WON’T YOU PIECE OF SHIT! R: Oh my God, I’m getting frickin’ hot in this shit. It’s the stress of knowing you’re about to be, R: assaulted… B: Assaulted.
R: Assaulted with a… R: With a “D” not with a “T” you British fuck. R: (Singing) Close your eyes, no more thinkin’ ’bout, thinkin’ ’bout t-t-troubles. B: C’mon, you can do it! Jump! B: Yes! B: Uh oh. B: AHHHHHHH!
R: AHHHHHHH NO! B: ROBERT! B: Don’t worry, I’m not gonna slap you. B: I’M GONNA SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! R: I’m actually gonna do this shit, can you believe that? R: That’s actually really exciting. B: Not really. R: GodDAMMIT! B: Stop flinching, take it like a man! Take it like a… B: Man! R: Holy shit. B: Uh oh. R: Oh my God. R: Oh I got ’em all! Yeah, fuck you, die! R: You piece of shit. That’s what you get!
B: You did it! R: You put me through, you put me through hell! B: The rest of that’s gonna be a breeze compared to that.
R: I don’t believe that. R: Oh shit! Oh shit!
B: Oh no. Oh no, jump! R: What the shit, WOO!
B: A- B: Jump. R: Wait, what-
B: Jump B: Jump. R: WOAH!
B: You didn’t jump. R: Can you imagine if I got every thing, every crate on this level, R: I would be… not only would I be a power extreme gamer, R: I would be an extreme power gamer. B: (laughing)
R: Fuck. R: I forgot to get my gamer fuel dude! That woulda made this so much easier! R: That’s why I’ve been having such prob- a big problem. R: Seriously though, R: did you, um… R: You have a G fuel, uh, subscription? (laughs) B: Now. B: Now! R: Yeah, if I listened to you, I’d fucking be dead right now! B: You died anyway. R: (Singing) I’m like a bird, R: I’ll fly up and down R: Killing Crash every time he jumps. R: Robert really hates me a lot… (Video playback) Mother trucker dude! That hurt like a butt cheek on a stick! (Video playback) Watch yo profamity. Both: (laughing) B: Jump, jump, jump, jump, R: THESE JUMPS ARE FUCKING HARD! HOLY SHIT DUDE!
B: Jump, jump. R: (country accent) Mother trucker dude that hurt like a butt cheek on a, on a, on a flapjack. R: Yeah, feel me? (laughs) R: (country accent) That hurt more than a, than a tarnation flapjack, R: on a, on a s- (laughs)
B: (laughs) B: (country accent) Rootin’ ‘n’ ‘ tootin’ in, B: That hurt more than a butt cheek on a skunk on a stick on a farm. R: That hurt more than a critter with a flapjack on a, on a- Both: (laugh) R: (country accent) That hurt more than a huckleberry on a critter flapjack.
B: (laughs) Both: Awwwww
R: That hurt more than a critter on a bandicoot. R: I mean, I was, (laughs) R: That hurt more than a, than a, a bird flying up and down. R: That hurt more than a spin from a bandicoot. R: Shit. Shit! SHIT! NO! B: (sighs) R: WoAh!
B: Woah. R: (Singing) Oh, oh! I don’t know about-
FUCK! B: Okay, this is the part where you keep choking, right?
R: Yes. B: Okay, watch this. B: (laughs) R: We deserve a checkpoint after all this bullshit. B: WHAT THE HELL AHH! R: Give it back, give it back, I got it! B: (inhales) This is impossible! B: ohhAhhhHHHAHHHHHH! R: SHUT UP! R: GOOOOOO! R: (Singing) Going up. R: Down. R: I’m gonna (?) spendin’ all of my money. B: Keep going, keep going, keep going, KEEP GOING! B: NOOOOOOO! B: Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, NOW! Both: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! B: Oh my God, it still keeps going. This is the final ascension. B: OH! Checkpoint!
Both: (monkey sounds) B: We turned into monkeys.
R: (laughs) B: Six more boxes, Robert! Come one, we’re right near the end!
R: Oh my God. B: This bird is going side to side, I’ve never seen that. R: WOAH! B: Uh oh. R: HoLY SHIT! R: WOO! R: Wait, WOAH, what the hell is that?! R: I actually have no idea, R: where to- B: Damn. Oh yeah, I was meant to be slapping ya, right? R: Ow! B: Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap. B: Slap. B: S- Robert! B: Ro… B: Fine, I won’t slap you this one. B: (Singing) When your lies in the morning sun. R: (Singing) When the night has come. R: And the rain’s falling down. R: Stormy, Ascent R: Ow!
B: Shut up! B: You got eighteen lives! R: THAT JUMP’S SO STUPID!
B: Aw. R: Woo! B: OH! OHH!
R: AH! oHH! R: AHH! B: One, two, three, four, five, SIX! THAT’S IT! Wait, don’t mess it up. R: Oh! Oh my God,
B: Ah! R: I’m gonna do it!
B: Yes! Yes! R: I’m gonna do it! Three, two, one!
B: Jump in! Both: YYEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!1!!11!1!! R: Oh my God, I did it! R: Oh my God. B: Yay!
R: Alright, I did it. R: I’m proud of myself. R: I plan to celebrate, and turn up, and pop champagne.
Kanye: I plan to celebrate, and scream, and pop champagne. Both: Every chance I get ’cause I’m at the Grammy’s baby! (applause) R: A lot of people were asking.
K: A lot of people want to know. Both: What I would do, Both: If I didn’t win. Both: I guess we’ll never know. (cheering and applause) B and R: (laughing) R: This video is a bit of a change of pace. R: I hope you enjoyed it.
If you wanna see more gaming stuff in the channel, R: let me know, ’cause this is actually was a good amount of fun, R: and I might do something like this again.
Anyways guys, R: This is Brandon, again, R: uh, link to his channel will be in the description. Thanks for cheering me on and… R: whatever. Uh, yeah. Anyways guys, R: As always, thank you so much for watching, and have a good one. R: That hurt more than a critter with a flapjack on a, on a, (laughs)