halelelelelellelelelelel… Bored-bored-bored-bored-bored, bored-bored. Aah! Whoa! Hey! Hey, Pineapple, hey! -I’m not a pineapple. I don’t even look like a pineapple. -You look like a pineapple who stuck his tongue in a light socket. [laughs] -I’m a Durian, but you can just call me “spike.” -Durham?
-[enunciating]: Durian. -[gasps] DeLorean? Yay! Let’s go back to the future! [laughs] -DURIAN! I’m an exotic flavor of fruit. I’m not a time-traveling car! -Okay, okay. Point taken. [laughs] -You think your words are gonna hurt me, pal? I got news for ya. they aren’t. -Yeah, you do look pretty thick-skinned. [laughs] -Actually, I am. Durians are super-thick-skinned. Super-tough! -Really? How tough are you? -Well, I don’t like to brag, but you know how people say they’re tough as nails? -Yeah? -[echoing]: But nails wish they were as tough as me! -Crazy! -I have a side job cutting diamonds, with my face!
-Wow! -Ford originally wanted their slogan to be built Durian tough, but I sued them because their trucks aren’t! -Whoa! That is tough! -Go ahead. Spit a seed at me. -Really?
-Yeah. -Um… I don’t think you want me to do that.
-Do it! -Okay. [hacks, spits] [poing!]
-Didn’t even feel it. -Whoa! [spits] [poing!]
-Ha, is there a draft in here or what? -[spitting continuously] [poing! poing! poing! poing!]
-Ha! That barely tickles my face. -Whoa! Hey, what’s the toughest thing you’ve ever done? -That’s a tough question, just the way I like ’em. It’s hard to say, since I’ve been toughin’ for so long. Once I told Bruce Willis I didn’t like his shirt. Another time, I beat Clint Eastwood in a staring contest. This other time, I–
-Ooh-ooh! One time, I motorboated so long that I passed out. -Um… okay. That’s not really tough, per se, but… -I’ll prove it right now! [inhales, fluttering lips] -Yeah, I don’t doubt you actually did that. You don’t have to prove it. [fluttering continues] Are you deaf? I wasn’t asking for a demonstration! Stop it! Ugh, for crying out loud! I believe you can motorboat for so long that you pass out, okay? -[sputters down, snores] -Finally, some peace and quiet. -[wakes up] Whoa!
-What? -I had a scary dream. -What was it about? -I don’t think you want to know. -What? You think it’s gonna scare me? -Oh… I don’t know. -Come on, tell me. What was it about? A dragon? A really scary clown? Global warming? What? -Nah. It was about… Knife!
[whack!] -What? This? Pfft! I don’t even feel it. -Whoa! I guess that makes you a “numb-skull.” [laughs] -Oh, come on, what is this? Amateur night? [chuckles] -Whoa! Are you okay? I don’t mean to pry, but he does. -The more, the merrier. Come on, I’ll take you both on! Whoo! -Geez. and they say I’m thick. [laughs] Eww… -What? Is that all you got, chump? -Hey! Hey, Spike! -What?!
-Dang it!! Ahhhh… doesn’t even hurt! -Well, that’s gonna be one tough “ax” to follow. [laughs] -Ugh!!
-Whoa! -That… kind of… tickles? -Whoa, Spike. You really know how to pick ’em. [laughs] Oh! -Orange, don’t forget… …don’t forget how tough I was. [groans in agony]
-What? Are you gonna split? [laughs] -[groaning, cracking]
-[groans in disgust] -Ahh! Poor Spike. Geez, your really cracked me up. [laughs] Ewwww. -Hey, audience. It’s me, Daneboe– Oh, no. It’s not! It’s Toby Turner! Dane’s in my head making me talk! Get out of my head! Get… whoo, he’s out. Phew, I felt smarter there for a second. Back to normal now. I suppose I’m gonna tell you to check out the sneak peek of the Annoying Orange TV show on Cartoon Network on May 28th, which is a Monday, at 8:30 PM/7:30 central. Do that and you might see me do some acting stuff and maybe even some dancing stuff. It’s probably gonna be the best thing to ever have happened to television, so you don’t want to miss it, and neither do I and neither does my mom or Dane’s mom. Nobody’s mom, or their children. Toby out. Huh!
[Captioned by StreamCaptions.com]